Meet the Mets! Greet the Mets!

OK, sure, I realize that this was just a bit of PR fluff to promote next year’s New York Mets-Philadelphia Phillies series in London but … did you find this statement from Mets owner Steve Cohen to be as weird as I did?

“Alex [Steve’s wife] and I are thrilled the Mets will play in the MLB 2024 London Series. Interest in baseball is growing all over the world, and to bring the Mets’ ‘never-say-die’ attitude to sports fans in London is a tremendous honor.”

Never-say-die attitude? The Mets? Huh?

There are so many things you can say about the New York Mets — but “never-say-die attitude” feels startlingly off. Hilariously off. Disturbingly off. It feels like talking about the Dallas Cowboys’ “underdog fightin’ spirit,” or the Washington Wizards’ “royal lineage of winning,” or the Los Angeles Angels’ “blue-collar tradition of 26 men playing as one.”

Look, our daughter Elizabeth went to college and started going by Liz — I get wanting to reinvent yourself in a new place. But “Never-say-die attitude” — the Mets? Does Steve Cohen really think they’re going to pull that one off, even in a far-off place like London?

Londonite: Hi, nice to meet you! What’s your name?

Phillies: We’re the Phightin’ Phillies!

Londonite: You really spell Phightin’ that way?

Phillies: Sometimes.

Londonite: It’s kind of phun. So nice to meet you! And what’s your name?

Mets: We’re the Never-Say-Die Mets!

Londonite: No, really, what’s your name?

Mets: We’re serious. We’re the Never-Say-Die Mets.

Londonite: Is that what your friends call you? Come on. You’re having a laugh.

I bring this up mainly because the thing that made Steve Cohen different from all the other billionaire owners is that he seemed a real Mets fan — a crumpled-hat-call-into-the-FAN-to-complain-about-Bobby-Valentine Mets fan. His Wikipedia page is littered with words like “racketeering” and “insider trading” and “wire fraud” and “securities fraud,” sure, but that’s business. The Mets seemed personal to him in a way that was oddly heartwarming. It can be so frustrating to have a team owner who doesn’t seem to care. Cohen surely cared. He was a real fan, one willing to spend obscene amounts of money to win. He was exactly who Stu in Queens would be if he were worth $17.5 billion.

Except Stu in Queens or Nick in Sunnyside or Andrew in Bayside would NEVER talk about the Mets’ never-say-die attitude, because it’s so NOT what the Mets have been about.

What ARE these Mets about? Well, you might have heard something about this — they have the highest payroll in baseball history by, like, A LOT. Their Opening Day payroll of $330.6 million is $50-plus-million more than any other team in baseball.

And where is that money going? Well, a quick glance: