NFL Week 9 Notes from a Wandering Fan
Tuesday notes from a wandering football fan!
Thumbs Down: Los Angeles Rams’ Defense
OK, a few years ago I coined a word: Jeterate. It was kind of popular for a little while. It means “To praise someone for something of which he or she is entirely unworthy of praise.” And it was obviously invented for Derek Jeter.
I’ll repeat what I’ve often said about Jeter: He was an all-time great player, one of the best to ever play the game, but he was great for specific reasons. He was a terrific hitter. He was a very good baserunner. He was a respected team leader. And, perhaps most of all, he was present. It’s the most underappreciated part of greatness; from 1996 through 2010, Jeter averaged 152 games per season. As a shortstop who played the game hard for a championship team in a high-pressure town, that’s special.
But it never seemed enough for people to simply praise Jeter for what made him great, and so instead they would attach various superpowers to his game, give him Gold Gloves for subpar defense, talk about how he could beat teams with his eyes or whatever. That’s Jeteration.
Of course, it isn’t just Jeter. It tends to happen to most great players in most sports; it isn’t just enough to celebrate the actual things that make them successful.
Enter: Tom Brady.
Brady is obviously at the summit of all-time football players. He has set all the quarterback records, he has set all the championship records, he’s a walking legend, and isn’t that enough? Do we really need to invent absurd new ways to praise the guy?
Tony Romo says: Yes!
All day on Sunday, in the Tampa Bay game against the Rams, Romo kept on saying the most ridiculous things about how Tom Brady is AS GOOD AS HE’S EVER BEEN and he’s LIKE A 28-YEAR OLD OUT THERE and how THE FILM SHOWS HE HASN’T LOST A THING and how everything that has gone wrong with the Bucs this year IS EVERYBODY ELSE’S FAULT EXCEPT TOM BRADY’S!
It was horrifying. I used to like Tom Brady, dammit. But as good as ever? Are you kidding me? Anyone — and I mean anyone — can watch Tom Brady play now and realize that he’s immobile, he’s jumpy in the pocket, he bails out on short throws all the time, he throws third-down passes into the dirt, he can’t get the Bucs into the end zone, etc.
And please don’t misunderstand: I’m not saying he’s bad. He’s not bad. Let me say that again in bold letters: He’s not bad. He’s still got his Tom Brady mind, he can still hit open receivers on short routes, he can still underthrow a deep ball to induce pass interference, he can still avoid the big mistakes that haunt other quarterbacks. He throws the ball a lot more than anybody in football and he completes more passes than anybody in football; he’s definitely not bad.
But he’s not Brady. Come on. His yards per attempt is 6.4, that’s 26th in football and his lowest since 2002. His yards per completion is even worse: 9.8, 30th in football, worse than Joe Flacco, his worst ever. People can (and do) blame his offensive line for not giving him pristine protection or his lack of a running game or his receivers for dropping passes and that’s all fine, but the man is 45 years old, and I’m sorry, he’s not going to be as good as ever at 45. He’s not going to be like a 28-year-old. That isn’t how it works. He’s an old quarterback who doesn’t want to get hit and bails out a lot and doesn’t really look downfield except in emergency situations.
And that’s exactly how he played on Sunday … until there were 44 seconds left and the game was on the line. To be fair to Brady, the Bucs should have been leading; they had dropped a touchdown pass in the end zone. But the Rams had also blown this game about 25 different ways. It was that rare game that neither team deserved to win.
But then Brady and the Bucs got the ball at the 40-yard line with no timeouts. It wouldn’t be easy for the Rams to lose this game. But, you know …
Step 1 for losing the game: Allow Brady to complete a pass downfield for the first time all game.
The Rams defense simply let a tight end with the unrealistic but delightful name of Cade Otton slip right behind the linebackers and get wide open 28 yards down the field. Brady threw the pass and Otton made the catch. It was Brady’s first 20-yard completion of the day.
Step 2 for losing the game: Back off those receivers! Leave the sidelines open! Whatever you do, definitely do not tackle a Bucs player in bounds so that the clock runs.
Brady throws a 4-yard pass to Leonard Fournette. He easily gets out of bounds.
Brady throws a 14-yard pass to Scott Miller on the sideline. He easily gets out of bounds.
Brady throws a 7-yard pass to Scott Miller on the sideline. He easily gets out of bounds.
That’s just sound, fundamental losing football. There were now 16 seconds on the clock and the Bucs had the ball on the Rams 7. OK, coach, what next?
Step 3 for losing the game: Commit a penalty in the end zone.
Check! The Rams interfered with receiver Mike Evans, placing the ball at the 1. There were 13 seconds left. There was only one thing left for the Rams to do.
Step 4 for losing the game: Fall for the run even though there was NO CHANCE the Bucs were running the ball.
Yep, Brady faked a handoff and pretty much all 11 Rams players went after the phantom ball carrier. This meant Brady could flip a little pass out to our pal Cade Otton for the game-winning touchdown.
“Brady magic!” Tony Romo shouted or something to that effect, and I just groaned.
Thumbs Up: Tua Tagovailoa
Lefty quarterbacks are just fun to watch, right? I’ve thought that going back to Jim Zorn. Here are my updated rankings of the most fun lefty quarterbacks to watch (and this is simply on the field; we’re not talking about anything else).
No. 1: Michael Vick. He was an absurdity.
No. 2: Steve Young.
No. 3: Ken Stabler
No. 4: Tua Tagovailoa
No. 5: Jim Zorn