Last week, I got yelled at by two drivers who claimed I had been inattentive, in one case as a driver and another as a pedestrian. As far as I could tell, what happened was that they had to brake some to avoid hitting me. In the one case, the driver was driving fast with a red light about 200 feet ahead and in the other it was in a parking lot where the driver seemed to think 30 mph was a fair rate of speed.
Since then, I've sort of kept track of the times I've seen drivers or pedestrians require me to brake when I was going at a normal rate of speed for the situation. And not once have I pulled over to lecture one of them. Life is too short.
I am a cynical man, past the point of caring a lot of times, but your closing lines on Jake Porter made me tear up. This is when you became you. And that's why we're all here.
Thanks Joe. It’s funny, how after a long day that was harder than I thought was in store for me, just trying to relax and read some good sports writing, you treat us to this. I needed it, in a big way. The appreciation is high, my friend.
This is why I've read you so consistently over the years. That version of the world is out there, but we all can use somebody who helps us see it. You're that guy for many of us. Thank you.
I hope that you and those around you find times less trying and find joy. You are exceptionally great at presenting humanity in a way that makes me emotional, but hopeful. I hope you can find someone like that right now
yes Joe, the ending of It's A Wonderful Life makes me cry, tears of joy and release, every single time (i too watch it just about yearly; and not just at Christmas... and you have just made me cry as well, Joe- truly you are more than a great writer, you are a wise and kind individual of truly good heart! forgive my lateness in reading/commenting lately, i have been residentially challenged for 2 months and so am only online a few hrs each morning, 18-20 hrs after you send this out...
i met the legendary rock music pioneer Bo Diddly in 1978 and we became lifetime friends, the first weekend after we met i was invited to his birthday party, i asked him if he was bitter about him and the other Black artists being ripped off so badly by the music biz- his response "they ripped ALL of us off, didn't matter if we was white black or brown- but what am i gonna do? what will bitterness get me but an early grave? fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, musician gotta play music- you just keep going and giving your all no matter what!"
The movie I think about that connects with this is Everything, Everywhere, All at Once - it’s a bizarre movie in so many ways. But the core message at the end is of Kindness and Hope.
I’m uncomfortable with self promotion under most circumstances, particularly when Joe writes something this profound and lovely. But I have my own (far less impressive) Substack and just wanted to share my most recent post which also happened to be about a particular thing that always makes me cry. Here to read if anyone feels compelled. https://open.substack.com/pub/joelcookson/p/declan-youre-a-firework?r=1juay&utm_medium=ios
certainly one of them, and forever in my Top 5! rounding out that 5 in varying order depending on mood are Cars (believe it or not!) Slumdog Millionaire, Bringing Up Baby & The Gold Rush (w/many other Chaplin Capra & Marx Bros films popping in and out of Top 10)
I think that one of the reasons that Katie the Prefect is one of your best-beloved pieces is the demonstration of how much that moment of kindness meant.
Whenever I get discouraged, I try to remember that people are generally kind. After all, it is much easier to tear someone down than to lift them up, far simpler to blow up than to build up, so easy to destroy than to create. And yet, the history of mankind is a history of coming together in communities, building societies and creating wonders, despite the difficulties. Even in times of trouble, look for the helpers.
Keep on looking for the kindness and taking it to heart. It's definitely out there.
I have never been able to believe that people are inherently good, as Buck and my own Mom did. At the same time, I can't walk around saying that people suck in general and are bad by nature as some others do.
My belief is that people are by nature self centered, and that very nature lends itself less to being a good person and more towards doing things that you think are best for you, whether it is bad for others or not. I also think that once you start doing that as a matter of course, it becomes a slippery slope, easier all the time to not worry about others, and for some, to begin to enjoy the misfortune of others as a bit of an extra. You go up, and they go down, and that makes your own rise seem higher somehow.
But Joe, and Buck, and my Mom had one thing right. Kindness is out there. I certainly don't think it is usual, but I guess that is what makes it special and makes me notice and appreciate it all the more. Not because I think people are good, but because it takes effort to be that way.
My Mom had a couple of pieces of paper on her refrigerator that I now have on mine. One of them was a common trope that everyone has read before or seen as a bumper sticker on a hippie car or something. The type of thing that loses it's meaning, or makes people roll their eyes when they have seen it too much. "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty". Trite, right? The difference is that she actually lived it. Every day.
I am afraid I have not gotten there, but when I see it, or an act of kindness from someone else in the course of my day, it reminds me to make the effort myself, and that is a start.
Had an uncle who was high up in the military. Several thousands in his command. Without a doubt the most relentlessly positive person I’ve ever met. Simply bc in command there can be no other way; the other ways don’t exist or are a distraction. The power of belief is real. I can’t recall a mission they failed.
Last week, I got yelled at by two drivers who claimed I had been inattentive, in one case as a driver and another as a pedestrian. As far as I could tell, what happened was that they had to brake some to avoid hitting me. In the one case, the driver was driving fast with a red light about 200 feet ahead and in the other it was in a parking lot where the driver seemed to think 30 mph was a fair rate of speed.
Since then, I've sort of kept track of the times I've seen drivers or pedestrians require me to brake when I was going at a normal rate of speed for the situation. And not once have I pulled over to lecture one of them. Life is too short.
I am a cynical man, past the point of caring a lot of times, but your closing lines on Jake Porter made me tear up. This is when you became you. And that's why we're all here.
That, and Yankees-hating.
Thanks Joe. It’s funny, how after a long day that was harder than I thought was in store for me, just trying to relax and read some good sports writing, you treat us to this. I needed it, in a big way. The appreciation is high, my friend.
People are life
Hi Ho
This is why I've read you so consistently over the years. That version of the world is out there, but we all can use somebody who helps us see it. You're that guy for many of us. Thank you.
Beautifully written ❤️
I hope that you and those around you find times less trying and find joy. You are exceptionally great at presenting humanity in a way that makes me emotional, but hopeful. I hope you can find someone like that right now
yes Joe, the ending of It's A Wonderful Life makes me cry, tears of joy and release, every single time (i too watch it just about yearly; and not just at Christmas... and you have just made me cry as well, Joe- truly you are more than a great writer, you are a wise and kind individual of truly good heart! forgive my lateness in reading/commenting lately, i have been residentially challenged for 2 months and so am only online a few hrs each morning, 18-20 hrs after you send this out...
i met the legendary rock music pioneer Bo Diddly in 1978 and we became lifetime friends, the first weekend after we met i was invited to his birthday party, i asked him if he was bitter about him and the other Black artists being ripped off so badly by the music biz- his response "they ripped ALL of us off, didn't matter if we was white black or brown- but what am i gonna do? what will bitterness get me but an early grave? fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, musician gotta play music- you just keep going and giving your all no matter what!"
The movie I think about that connects with this is Everything, Everywhere, All at Once - it’s a bizarre movie in so many ways. But the core message at the end is of Kindness and Hope.
Thanks Joe!
An absolutely amazing piece, and one that will hit many people at a perfect time.
Also, sorry for the bum who commented something stupid. I can't believe how miserable some have to make others.
I’m uncomfortable with self promotion under most circumstances, particularly when Joe writes something this profound and lovely. But I have my own (far less impressive) Substack and just wanted to share my most recent post which also happened to be about a particular thing that always makes me cry. Here to read if anyone feels compelled. https://open.substack.com/pub/joelcookson/p/declan-youre-a-firework?r=1juay&utm_medium=ios
Well said, Joe.
We need more positivity, optimism and kindness in this world. Thanks for such a well written post. You're the best.
It is the Greatest Movie Ever Made.
certainly one of them, and forever in my Top 5! rounding out that 5 in varying order depending on mood are Cars (believe it or not!) Slumdog Millionaire, Bringing Up Baby & The Gold Rush (w/many other Chaplin Capra & Marx Bros films popping in and out of Top 10)
I believe there's good and bad in everything and everybody - every last one.
I think that one of the reasons that Katie the Prefect is one of your best-beloved pieces is the demonstration of how much that moment of kindness meant.
Whenever I get discouraged, I try to remember that people are generally kind. After all, it is much easier to tear someone down than to lift them up, far simpler to blow up than to build up, so easy to destroy than to create. And yet, the history of mankind is a history of coming together in communities, building societies and creating wonders, despite the difficulties. Even in times of trouble, look for the helpers.
Keep on looking for the kindness and taking it to heart. It's definitely out there.
I have never been able to believe that people are inherently good, as Buck and my own Mom did. At the same time, I can't walk around saying that people suck in general and are bad by nature as some others do.
My belief is that people are by nature self centered, and that very nature lends itself less to being a good person and more towards doing things that you think are best for you, whether it is bad for others or not. I also think that once you start doing that as a matter of course, it becomes a slippery slope, easier all the time to not worry about others, and for some, to begin to enjoy the misfortune of others as a bit of an extra. You go up, and they go down, and that makes your own rise seem higher somehow.
But Joe, and Buck, and my Mom had one thing right. Kindness is out there. I certainly don't think it is usual, but I guess that is what makes it special and makes me notice and appreciate it all the more. Not because I think people are good, but because it takes effort to be that way.
My Mom had a couple of pieces of paper on her refrigerator that I now have on mine. One of them was a common trope that everyone has read before or seen as a bumper sticker on a hippie car or something. The type of thing that loses it's meaning, or makes people roll their eyes when they have seen it too much. "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty". Trite, right? The difference is that she actually lived it. Every day.
I am afraid I have not gotten there, but when I see it, or an act of kindness from someone else in the course of my day, it reminds me to make the effort myself, and that is a start.
Had an uncle who was high up in the military. Several thousands in his command. Without a doubt the most relentlessly positive person I’ve ever met. Simply bc in command there can be no other way; the other ways don’t exist or are a distraction. The power of belief is real. I can’t recall a mission they failed.